I have this really unnatural fear of *people* who are dressed up in a costume that is like a mascot or a character of some kind.  Basically, it freaks me the fuck out (sorry ma).  I’m not sure why or when it started but I realized I had it one year at a college football game and there was a corporate mascot at the game.  One of the banks here has a slogan that it is open 7 days a week, so it had a giant “7” wandering around the game.  I was terrified to the point of tears.  And ever since then, I am really uncomfortable around any kind of mascot or character in a large suit – especially that damn 7 and the Jamba Juice banana.

(On a side note:  did you know there are people who actually have a fetish for this type of thing?  They are called furries.  They have SEX in those costumes.  If you could see me now, you would see me making what Carlos calls the “scrunchy face.”  Disgusting.)

So, one of my dear girlfriends moved back up to NYC and every freaking day on her walk from her office to Penn Station she walks past a living Elmo.  It freaks me out and I’m how many thousands of miles away?  Why is he there?  What the hell does he have to do in an Elmo suit?  Where is he going?  Why is he there EVERY DAY???

I think my friend is taunting me though.  I expressed my concerns last week and she sent me this:


He’s WAVING at me.  *shiver*