Paris Hilton’s Vagina Bites a Penguin

I wanted to write about my weekend and Fay and how I hadn’t written in a while, but this is far more fascinating.  I just went to empty out the spam folder in my email, and it seems to be obsessed with Paris Hilton.  As I was reading through the list of all of the subject titles, I wondered, which one of these is the least believable:

“Paris Hilton: Snickers Diet The Best for 2008!”
“Lohan in Paris Hilton-copycat DUI”
“Prince Harry Proposes to Paris Hilton”
“Britney, Paris, Lindsay Jealous of Success of Antonella, Alaina, and Shyamali”
“Dr. Phil calls Paris Hilton ‘Trash without the trailer'”
“Paris Hilton planning new sex tape”
“Paris Hilton Wins Pulitzer Prize”
“No Takers For Paris Million Dollar Blubbering”
“Has Whirling Paris Hilton Embraced Sufism?”
“Paris Hilton’s Vagina Bites A Penguin”
“Paris Hilton’s interview with Burma’s General Than Shwe”
“Paris Hilton opens live sex chat phone line”

I think they’re all pretty believable except for that shining star right in the middle there:

“Paris Hilton Wins Pulitzer Prize”

Not in a million years.

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I Think I’m Going to Do This

I just got an email from MoveOn.org regarding a “Clean Energy” rally in downtown Ft. Lauderdale on the 19th:

Last year, the biggest oil companies made almost $150 billion in profits—an all-time record.1 But our friends at the Center for American Progress just released a report showing that John McCain wants to give them even more—$39 billion in tax cuts and subsidies.2

It’s a stark choice: we can invest in solar panels on our roofs. Wind farms powering our homes. Plug-in hybrids that use barely any gas. New, green jobs revitalizing our communities. Or we can follow John McCain’s plan, and keep giving billions of our tax dollars to oil companies.

On Tuesday, we’re holding rallies across the country to call for a shift to a clean energy economy—and to make sure voters know John McCain would rather give our tax dollars to help Big Oil than invest in cheap, clean alternatives to oil.

We’ve invited the media, and we need a good crowd. Can you make it? Here’s all the info:

Host: Rae T—fellow MoveOn member
Where: Federal Courthouse Bld, Broward & 3rd (in Fort Lauderdale)
When: Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2008, at 5:00 PM

Here’s the link to RSVP:
http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/event.html?event_id=50223&id=13471-9491811-WKW7pXx&t=3

John McCain plans to continue supporting Big Oil profits over clean energy progress—and that’s a fact that voters need to hear. And nothing is more powerful than information about how an issue affects you, in your own backyard.

At the rally, we’ll release powerful new data for Florida showing how many millions of our state tax dollars McCain would funnel to Big Oil, and just what that money could do if we used it locally on new clean energy projects. How many windmills. How many houses we could weatherize. How much of an investment we could make in geothermal energy. How many jobs we’d create.

Right now, before the major campaign ad spending starts, may be our last chance to help people see through the rhetoric to the truth: John McCain is on Big Oil’s side, not ours. We can have a clean energy future—but not if we elect a candidate who’s committed to the policies of the past.

To get the word out, we need a big, enthusiastic crowd. Will you come? Click here to RSVP:

http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/event.html?event_id=50223&id=13471-9491811-WKW7pXx&t=4

Thank you for all you do.

–Noah, Stephen, Anna, Lenore and the rest of the team

Sources:
1. “Big Oil Earned $236 Per American Driver In The Last Year,” Center for American Progress Action Fund, July 31, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4045&id=13471-9491811-WKW7pXx&t=6

2. “The True Cost of McCain’s Oil Industry Subsidies for Every State,” Center for American Progress Action Fund, August 11, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4037&id=13471-9491811-WKW7pXx&t=7

It’s no secret that I’m a little bit of a tree hugger/granola eater and over the last few months my inner hippie has been shining through…maybe a little too brightly for my husbands tastes, but that’s alright.  I do have a personal war against big oil right now.  Do you realize that oil is in just about everything?  It’s even in plastic – like the plastic water bottles that everyone drinks out of these days.  I’m just sick of oil and our dependency on it for everything, which includes our dependency on these volatile middle east nations who control all of the oil.

Anyway, before I get too carried away here, I think I’m going to go participate in the rally.  And then I’m going to go to Staci’s gold party and sell some gold and make some money.

Woohoo, money!

Why I Don’t Watch the Olympics

I’m an emotional sports fan. It doesn’t matter if its real or a movie, if it’s a happy sports outcome I will cry like a baby. So of course I’m sitting here blubbering watching the Americans take gold in the swimming finals. And then it got worse when I saw Michael Phelp’s mother in the stands blubbering during the national anthem. AND THEN he gave his flowers to his sister. I’m going to get a migraine from all of my blubbering.

As an aside, chop off Phelps’ head and he is H-O-T. I’m just sayin’…

Ants Marching

I have ants…on my desk…at work.   I have this really great office, about 12×12, with lots of windows and beautiful views of the lake behind me:

If you notice in that picture, though, there is a tree right next to the window.  Its been raining a lot lately, and with the rains come ants.  I hypothesize that the ants are coming from the tree, through the window, and onto my desk.

I used to have a spider that I let live because in theory he was going to eat the ants.  I think he died, though, so now I’m in charge of making the ants disappear.  There must be a thousand of these things.

I know that’s not a really clear picture, but all the brown is ants.  Lots and lots of little ants.  I don’t have any food or anything in here, so they must like eating paper and pens.  Or maybe they’re wandering around trying to find something to snack on.  Interestingly enough, though, I have a zen garden (sand box with rocks) on my desk and they want nothing to do with it.  I would think that they would want to get in there and make tunnels and forts or whatever it is they do.

Well, that’s my excitement for the day.

I don’t have to sleep in a ponytail anymore!

It’s true!  It’s true!  After growing my hair for over two years, I chopped off 10 inches today and will be sending in the ponytail to Locks of Love, an organization that makes hair pieces for children who have no hair and are financially disadvantaged.  I highly recommend donating your hair, if you have the extra hair to spare.  After all, it IS only hair and for us it will grow back.  There are many children out there who can’t make that decision.